home is where my heart is right now..

I hardly cry..
sad movies never make me cry..
but today, i cried..
i just cried that it lasted for 40 minutes..

all the emotions have been boiling up inside of me..
waiting for the time to explode..
and today, it exploded..
in streams of tears..
stream after stream..

why?
selfishness..
losing trust..
home..
wanting to be home..
lonely..
i'm missing mama..
i'm missing ayah..
wanting to be home..
in the arms of mama and ayah..
and..
i think..

i miss him.

she~

..the heart of a woman is damn unique..

she

takes rejections

heals sorrow

builds confidence

and

allocates spaces for new hope

..she is a kind of strong..

thanks, Soya!!

taGGed by aNa~10 sexiest peopLe..

this is my third time being tagged and the tagged topic is 10 sexiest people on earth..this is the list in no particular order..

David Beckham - i'm sure everyone must have guessed that this person is a MUST on the list..no justification needed..ex-Man U player, ex-England captain and now playing for Real Madrid..he is sexy being the way he is..no one can deny that..with or without shirt..sarong or pants..football jersey or tux..being bald or having his hair tied up..the money he makes..those cars he drives..and the list goes on..

Ralph Fiennes - yes, he is that guy in Maid in Manhattan..i fell in love with him straight..he is sexy when the lines on his face crinkle up as he talks or laughs or smiles..and if u haven't watched the movie..this is the time..and he's the one u should kept ur eyes on..
Fabio Cannavaro - who agrees that he is one of the most sexiest man alive? haha..so sexy..he was being appointed the Italian team captain since 1997..even before beckham..and he is STILL the captain..unlike beckham who quits after england failed to move on..ohh..nothing is sexier than cannavaro chasing a ball across the field in that tight blue Italy football jersey with sweat running down the bald head of his..

Sean Connery - yeah Ana, i agree with u..he is one of the older men who are sexy despite their age..can't reason anymore..
Shayne Ward - he has the look, he has the voice and he has the charm to make girls screaming fanatically at him..at the age of 21, he has won the X-Factor UK 2005.. if u have the time, watch the episodes of xfactor on youtube and u'll realise he's the winner since the first day..

Wade Robson - if u wondering who this person might be..he's the one who coreographed most of nsync's moves..he even has his on show on MTV called the Wade Robson Show where he searches for new talents for the dancing industry..he's hot when he grooves to the music..
Hans Isaac - the only Malaysian in the list..the ability to converse in the Malay Language flawlessly and like a Malay..he looks like a Malay even though he's not..the way he brought all his characters on screen, he looks so good that u want to have a man like him in ur life..and he is so goooooooooddddd in kutub utara kutub selatan..so charming...

Won Bin - the only Korean on the list..he's acted in autumn in my heart, friends, brotherhood and tae guk gi..he is sexy in autumn in my heart..driving a BMW and then have to fight with his best friend to win the love of his life..

Nigel Baker - one of the judges in American Next Top Model and also a professional photographer..why is he sexy? bald..dark skin..sumtimes he has the few-days-old stuble on his face..and the accent..ohhh.. i love his accent..
The Pussycat Dolls - oppss...this makes 15 sexiest people..haha..they are the sexies ladies around..and even their songs sound sexy like they are..

there u go..the 10..ohh no..the 15 most sexiest people on earth..anyone wanna add to that?

~loVe..from the eyes of children~

I received this in an email from my dearie sister. Cant help but to share this.

What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you anyof theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time.Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7(Wow!)-->Love this one..

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody .You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5"

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris -age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4"

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7-->cute!!

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

..and his brown eyes tells his soul..

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
You stepped to me and you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about

Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
We had butterflies although we tried to hide
And we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand
The way we talked the way we laughed
It felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
Remember the first day we had an argument
We apologized and then we compromised
And we haven't argued since

Remember the first day we stopped playing games
Remember the first day you fell in love with me
It felt so good for you to say those words
Cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each others hand
The way we talked the way we laughed
It felt so good to fall in love
And I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

I'm so happy so happy that you're in my life
And baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me
Showed me the true meaning of love
And i know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul

~peRihaL naMa~

dulu kat sekolah..

cikgu selalu bising..
nama panjang sangat..
macam-macam ejaan..
ade double vowel..
ader huruf yg double..

tp..

nanti bile aku jadi cikgu..

aku tak leh marah kat anak murid aku..
aku tak leh marah diorang kalau nama diorang panjang..
aku tak leh marah diorang kalau ejaan nama diorang ade double vowel..
aku tak leh marah diorang kalau ejaan nama diorang ade huruf yg double..

sebabnyer?

name aku pon panjang..
ader 20 huruf campur nama bapak aku..
itu aku tak campur binti..
name aku bile dieja ade double vowel..
nama aku bile dieja lagi ade huruf yg double..

nampaknye..

aku akan jadi cikgu yang baik..
sbb aku takkan marah anak murid aku kalau nama diorang panjang..
kalau ejaan nama diorang ade double vowel..
kalau ejaan nama diorang ade huruf yg double..

mmg aku tak boleh nk marah..

.:moNey-2:.

finally, today!! after emotions have been poured out in the last entry about having no money, surviving under 30 pound for about 3 weeks, and having to pay ur holiday and monthly phone bills and also ur kindhearted friends, the numbers in the account banks have finally change..no more tens and units in the acoount..the numbers galloped that my eyes popped out form the socket and i screamed at the numbers..Alhamdulillah..the stucked-somewhere-money has safely arrived in my account.. :-D..*big grin*

.:moNey:.

money seems to be the biggest issue rite now.. its already the 9th of november and still there is no sign of allowance coming in..im currently trying my best to live under the 30 pound that i had since the last 2 weeks..it gets much harder when by the end of next week, you have got to pay the balance for one of ur holidays and also your monthly mobile phone bill..and that doesn't include the money that you have got to pay back to some of your friends who kindheartedly let you borrow some money to pay some things..*sigh*..by the time i get my allowance, one third of it will be spent on paying my debts..thank God i'm a royal mail christmas casual worker and starting working at the end of this month..at least i got some money coming not from the KPM..and hopefully royal mail doesn't delay the weekly paycheck..

sye rindu ayah~~

Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle

There's two things I know for sure

She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl

As I drop to my knees by her bed at night

She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes

And I thank God for all the joy in my life

Oh but most of all

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer

Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair

"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride"

"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried"

In all that I've done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve a hug every morning and butterfly kisses at night

Sweet sixteen today

She looks like her momma, a little more everyday

One part woman the other part girl

To perfume and make-ups form ribbons and curls

Trying her wings out in the great big world

But I remember

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer

Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair

"You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don't mind,

I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time"

With all that I've done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night

All those precious time

Like the wind, the years go by

Precious butterfly

Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today

She'll make her promise and I'll give her away

Standing in the bride room just staring at her

She asked me what I'm thinking

And I said "I'm not sure,

I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl"

She leaned on me

Gave me butterfly kisses with her momma there

Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair

"Walk beside me, daddy, it's just about time"

"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?"

"Daddy don't cry"

Oh with all that I've done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve your love every morning and butterfly kisses

I just couldn't ask for more

Man, this is what love is

I know I gotta let her go

But I'll always remember

Every hug in the morning

And butterfly kisses at night...