Thursday, September 28, 2006

Cures for Love: Which One?

*referring to the previous entry..

Wendy Cope said that there are two cures for love.. I kinda believe her actually.. However, there are a few questions worth thinking about..
  • Which one do you think is easier to be done?
  • Which one do you think has less risk?
  • Which one do you think is much more painful than the other?
  • Which one do you think will make you happy?
Come to think of it.. I dont think one way is easier than the other.. Or that the one way that we picked will not be hurting us anymore and we live happily.. Both ways have its own pros and cons.. I dont know what they are until I myself came to a junction of life and i need to decide which one of the two is best for me..

"I came to know him about a year ago.. About a few months of knowing him, he told me he has a gf.. I dont mind.. I thought that i really want to be friends with him.. And so i have to make the big decision: Wendy Cope's Cure No 1 or Cure No 2..

Without thinking much, I opted for Cure No 2.. Yes, it was fun at the beginning.. I was happy.. I thought that by being friends, he will soon realise how cool and laid-back I am that he will come running back to me.. However, being happy and fun was only temporary.. The happiness and fun did not last long.. I felt hurt.. I felt like being stabbed by a big sharp knife each and everytime he mentioned about her.. I felt torn when he did things that no one would accept.. But, I was in denial.. I keep on telling myself that it was OK.. And it's gonna be OK.. I told myself that this will end sooner or later.. He wont do it again.. And i kept denying myself.. Even my mom could not wake me up from the denial.. Sorry Maa..

About 10 weeks ago, I came to my senses..I became tired of living my life in denial.. Friends woke me up from my dream.. I snapped back to reality.. I abandoned Cure No 2, looked for strength and courage and went after Cure No 1.. It was not easy at the beginning.. I was tempted to dial his number and talked like we used to.. But, I have to be strong.. I cant live in denial again.. After 10 weeks of not-calling-him-during-the-weekends, I became much stronger.. I realised that I am not at loss of anything, not even him and not even one thing.. I accept that this is what life has got to offer and I accept the fact that this is what God has arranged for me and this is what is best for me.."

I am now happy that i left Cure No 2 and went after Cure No 1.. But I am not saying that Cure No 1 is way better than the other.. However, in my case, it is better that the other.. Only after I went through both cures for love.. ;-)

*Dear friends (you know who you are),
Thanks for bringing me back to reality and giving me the courage and strength that I needed very much to go through this period of life..Thanks..I heart you..


durra~ said...

i know exactly how you feel =(
but i don't believe in cures.

.:alin~yussuff:. said...

yeah durra..
the cures did not cure me either..
it just makes you feel better sometimes..
i think so..
the outcomes?
i still dont know and not sure..

.::Butterfly in My Pocket::. said...

my God alin..u dh over ker that state? choice has always been cure number one in my case back then..bcos it hurts me even to just talk to him..i was in denial too i guess...i cant separate dreams and reality, the past and present.

with him not having a new gf is even harder, it gives me this tiny little hope in my stomach saying that we will be together again.but then i knew it in my heart that he's not the ONE..but i dont know whats wrong with me at that time..

Bla bla bla..after a few months of living in denial n months of self-exploration..i came to a conclusion.i wont be happy running away from he always wanted to be my fren n kononnye sbb break up pon sbb too busy with life [only now i agree with him.i pon sgt busy!] i stayed in touch in YM, only when he says HI first.hihi.

then one morning after almost 4months and a half after the hurtful break up, i found myself not thinking of him when i woke up.i thot of some other that time i knew.IM SOOO~OVER HIM!
n i dont think i'd consider having him back in the future even if he insisted.

yayy!!even tho we're still in contact until now, he created no more butterfilies in my stomach. I live a better life now =) Hope u'd feel the same Alin.

U go girl!!yayyy girl power u can do it

sori sbb post another entry!hahaha;pmacam tade blog sendiri.

.:alin~yussuff:. said...

aku tgh menabahkan lagi arr jamie oii..
aku tak tepon..
aku tak mshg diyer..
diyer jer msg aku skunk nie..
tp still struggling gak a bit..
probably i need more time kot..

.::Butterfly in My Pocket::. said...

yeahh but jgn carik dier alin..biar kalo nk carik dier yg carik..

mesti kuat!alin boleh.i've been there and mesti ko bley juge

hilangkan diri anda~
u dont need this.u shud be smart enough to know that someone better will come along...someone whos more sincere towards a real relationship.

i'll pray for yu!!=Dhugs!!

.:alin~yussuff:. said...

thanks jaime..
*huggies and kisses*